Green Eyed Miracle reworked
by littledaybreaker
Summary: What would have happened if Lily had married Severus instead of James? How would life have been different? AU, Lily/Severus re-worked version


A/N: I started this series (and got up to about six chapters) in December of 2007. I decided it needed some serious overhaul in July of 2009, and finished this chapter, finally, in March of 2010. Consider it a labour of love.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. The characters are property of JK Rowling, the title was inspired by Stephen King's "Lisey's Story" and its talk of blue-eyed miracles, and the epigraphs are from various sources and cited as such. I am making absolutely no money off of this.

"**Green Eyed Miracle", Chapter One: In Which Severus Does Not Hold His Peace**

_He takes her by her lily white hand and leads her down the hall_

_He takes her by her slender waist for fear that she might fall_

_He lays her on a bed of down without a doubt at all_

_He and she lie in one bed, roll me over next to the wall_

~Great Big Sea, _Captain Wedderburn_

People didn't think of Severus Snape as much—a sallow, thin boy, not handsome, in hand-me-down robes, perpetually unwashed, with limited social skills—but he rarely made any effort to change that, staying away from trouble whenever he could and when trouble befell him, letting it happen, figuring that his nth beating from James Potter and his merry band of thugs was better than endless detention from touching Hogwarts' Golden Boy even in retaliation. It worked, most of the time, and he stayed out of trouble with the teachers and mostly out of harm's way with the students, except for Potter, but it was a lonely sort of existence, the sort of existence where one survives but does very little else in terms of living. Because of his great fear of trouble and his apparent "kick me" sign, Severus had developed but one meaningful relationship in all of his seventeen years, and even that relationship was swiftly becoming unfamiliar to him.

Lily Evans was the prettiest girl in Gryffindor, and her suitors (and Severus) might argue that she was the prettiest girl in the entire school, in addition to being, unquestionably the kindest, and one of the smartest. Lily was the sort of girl who might spend her morning tutoring hopeless third-years, rescuing first-years from the Whomping Willow, single-handedly organizing a post-Qudditch-match party for the following evening, and still making it to Potions on time, all while looking like she'd just stepped off the cover of "Witch Weekly", and by extension she was, of course, the least likely person to have befriended someone like Severus Snape, much less be in _love _with him.

She had met Severus when she was seven years old, and, when pressed by people like her boyfriend (the nasty, repulsive Potter, who was, though handsome and intelligent, the meanest, most unflinchingly cruel boy that Severus had ever met) as to why she still insisted on associating with "Snivellus" Snape when she could easily have any friend she wanted to, this was the reason she gave for still talking to him: "I've known him for a long time and he's always been the sweetest boy I know, which is a lot more than you can say, _James Potter_." In Severus's opinion it was difficult _not _to be in love with Lily Evans when she spoke like that, and _impossible _not to be in love with Lily Evans when not only did she speak like that, she spoke like that _about Severus _to _James Potter_. It was a golden rule amongst the students of Hogwarts that thou shalt not speak ill to or about James Potter, but Lily was never one to follow the rules. Severus had known her for eleven years and for eleven years Severus had hopelessly in love with her without her ever knowing. He had tried, once or twice, to profess his love to her, but as usual, James Potter got there first.

James and Lily had been dating since their fourth year, when they had both been made prefect and it seemed like the right thing to do. Lily hadn't really wanted to, she had confessed to Severus, but people always expected certain things of her, and James was one of those things, so she had begun dating him. That was the thing about Lily, a thing that Severus hated almost as much as he loved. In Lily's opinion, it was better to make people happy than it was to be happy herself, so she was often getting into situations—like dating Potter—that she was greatly unhappy about and that she usually ended up sobbing hysterically to Severus about later. Severus figured that she should have figured out that she was hurting herself by now, which she had, but when Severus would ask, she would always sigh and tell him the same thing--"It's better if _I'm _hurt than if James is angry". Severus disagreed, but if he knew anything about Lily, it was that once she'd made up her mind, there was no arguing with her. Or, so he'd thought.

There had been rumors circulating for several weeks prior to the end of term that James Potter was going to propose to Lily Evans on the last day of term, and Severus had been quietly preparing himself since he had first caught wind, from one of the Malfoys. He didn't like the outcome of this—partially the idea that it meant that he was going to lose Lily for good, but mostly the idea that, in order to save herself any sort of trouble, Lily was going to accept James' proposal (despite and perhaps because of the fact that there had been a disturbing level of bad stories about him and his treatment of her circulating back to Severus both from her and from outside sources), and she was going to marry him and they were going to live the way they'd spent the past three years living, with James showing her off like some kind of shiny Quidditch trophy in public and belittling, hurting, and picking on her just like everyone else in private. They would have children, little snot-nosed carbon copies of James who acted like good little well-bred wizards in the presence of their mother and sadistic bullies like their father everywhere else. Lily would be forced to stay at home and keep up appearances while James went out and did something both respectable and lucrative, like play Quidditch or be an Auror. Their children would be named things like James junior and Poppy and Severus hated them even before they were conceived.

Because he had been preparing himself so long for the events to transpire the way he had imagined them, he was surprised and, perhaps, even a bit disbelieving when Lily came to him two days before the end of term, while he was in the library studying, pushed his books aside, and said, "You have to help me."

Severus looked up at her, blinking, because of all of the things Lily had told him and all of the things she had asked of him, she had never once in ten years asked for his help, and the notion caught him off guard. "What?" he asked, staring blankly at her. "What do you need me to help you do?"

Lily's eyes twinkled, and she leaned over to press her lips against Severus's ear, which made him shiver, whispering her plan in his ear. It seemed simple enough, and almost deceptively so—all he had to do was come, and at the last second steal her away. What happened then, she said, was up to him, and it wasn't long after she pulled back that Severus nodded his agreement and his head was filled no longer with thoughts of potions and charms but of wedding rings and honeymoon destinations.

As predicted, James proposed to Lily at the end of term, and Lily accepted his proposal with all the appropriate fanfare and ceremony. She would admit to Severus later that she would not nearly have been as happy about the proposal if she hadn't involved him in her plans to end it, because it was easy enough to be happy about being engaged to a person you practically hated when you were going to run away anyway to be with the person you loved. Severus had never been loved before, or at least he was pretty sure he hadn't, and the idea that Lily loved him was so foreign and delightful that every time she said it his heart skipped a beat. She had to admit that she felt bad about it sometimes, about loving Severus when she was with James, who couldn't exactly defend himself at this point, but it was difficult to summon up the enthusiasm to care about James's opinions when he had been so prone to hurting people in the past. James was a sort of golden boy, everyone's favourite, and Lily knew so much about the inner workings of James' mind, the deepest, darkest recesses of his actions that it seemed, to her, almost cruel _not _to tell people all the things he'd done. She played her part well, though—almost _too _well, at times, Severus thought—and when they left school at the end of term she moved away with James to Godric's Hollow and promised to owl everyone with wedding details as soon as she could.

The owl arrived toward the end of August, when Severus had begun to give up hope and figured that Lily had changed her mind and wanted to marry James after all. He'd run through a hundred scenarios in his head, most of them involving brainwashing and love potions, and they all made him feel a vague, nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach. But just like always, in the eleventh hour, Lily came through. Attached to the beautiful gilt wedding invitation was a letter written on plain parchment in Lily's own hand. "_Severus_," it said, "_please come prepared to run. Lily_." He held the owl in his hands and smiled. It was so very Lily, so simple and innocent, and he felt like October, when the wedding was to happen, was far too long off. He spent most of his days fantasizing about what would happen _after _the wedding, about sweeping her off her feet and carrying her away, and as he thought, he began to plan, making sure that by the time October arrived, every last detail was planned for and perfected.

Time passed more quickly than Severus had thought, and it wasn't long before October, and Lily and James' wedding, was upon them. He woke early that morning to do his errands, to make sure that everything was in order. Dressing in his best robes, he clutched the ring in his hand the whole train ride into London, rehearsing his speech. He and Lily had been planning and corresponding since the initial owl, and he was certain that everything was going to be perfect. As the train pulled into the station, he looked out at the city through the window, damp and slightly dreary, and felt a great deal of anticipation in his heart, as if the rest of his life was to finally begin.

He was one of the last people to arrive at the church, as per his and Lily's plan. He had milled around outside of the church, wasting time until every other guest had already rushed in before entering, settling as inconspicuously as possible into a pew toward the back, near Lily's sister, who was, as usual, complaining loudly about how they were all 'freaks'. It wasn't quite five minutes later that the music began and a hush fell over the church. James was standing at the altar, but Severus's reproachful glare was soon cut off as Lily appeared in the doorway, wearing a simple white dress with white lilies twisted in her hair. As she walked past, she gently brushed Severus's wrist, a motion that went unnoticed by the rest of the church, but which made him flush and smile. If he had any regrets, they flew out the window then. He knew he was doing the right thing.

"Now if any person thinks that these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Severus took a deep breath, swallowing hard. Lily was looking back at him imploringly, her green eyes wide, and he plowed forward. "I do."

Silence. For several long seconds, the entire church was silent, all eyes fixed on him. It became clear which guests were there for whom, because of who was narrowing their eyes at him and who was just standing in stunned silence. After a moment, he finally reoriented himself and spoke. "I object," he said. "I don't feel that this marriage is in the best interest of the bride and—" He looked up, flustered, the speech going out the window. Lily smiled, stepping down off the altar, leaving a befuddled (and furious) James behind, and came to stand next to Severus. "I agree," she said, wrapping an arm firmly around his waist.

Although he was sure that people were talking as they left the church, Severus couldn't hear them. He couldn't hear Lily laughing, or the priest flusteredly telling everyone that they should go home, didn't hear James apologizing and informing everyone the reception was still on, didn't hear anything but the pounding of his heart in his ears as he walked away from the church with his hand entwined with Lily's. He barely heard the registrar at town hall telling him congratulations. He watched himself sign the marriage certificate as if he was watching himself on a screen or through a photograph. It was barely real to him, even with Lily's lips pressed against his, even with the certificate in his hands. He had waited for this for so long that if he put himself _in _the moment he was certain it would disappear, dissolve into nothing, a dream.

It wasn't until they reached the hotel that he started believing in it. This he had arranged beforehand, and so settling into the wedding suite was the first time he felt like he was at home. "I love you," he said, and took her hand, kissing her fingers delicately, looking at her as if this was the first time he had ever looked at her. "You are so beautiful."

Lily smiled again, wrapping an arm around Severus's waist. "I love you," she echoed, standing on tiptoe to press her lips against his. "I love you very much."

He took her hand and led her to the bed, turning her around once they were standing in front of it and unzipping her dress, slipping it off her shoulders and down her hips. She turned back and smiled at him, stepping out of it and turning to face him, more beautiful than anything Severus had ever seen. His breath caught, and he held it as Lily unfastened the front of his robes, sliding them off and away, too. Yes, it was real now.

* * *

Severus woke early the next morning, while Lily was still sound asleep. He watched her sleep for a few minutes, taking in her fair skin, her red hair, the way her lips fell into a bow, her long eyelashes brushing against her cheeks as she slept, and finally rose, dressing, intent on getting them breakfast and train tickets back home for later that afternoon. He left a note for Lily and crept up, intent on getting everything done as fast as possible.

Lily was awake when he came back with bread and fruit and two train tickets, sitting at the desk writing a letter, wearing one of the underskirts from her wedding dress and the dress shirt Severus had been wearing under his robes, for they had run without the foresight of bringing more clothes. She looked up from what she was writing and smiled at him, rising to greet him. He gently pushed her back down, kissing the top of her head. "What are you writing?" he asked, offering her an apple and a warm roll.

"A letter to my mother," she explained, somewhat apologetically. "She sends her congratulations, by the way—thinks you're a much better choice than James."

Severus laughed, kissing the top of her head again, unable to get enough of kissing her, of her being his. "I'm glad to have her approval."

Lily looked up at him, grinning a goofy grin and kissing his chin. "She always has, you know."

Severus shook his head, pottering around the hotel room gathering their things and folding them into his overnight bag. "At least someone does."

Lily stood, wrapping her arms around his waist and whispering in his ear, "I do."

He turned and smiled at her, kissing her forehead, holding her close. "Let's go home, Mrs Snape."


End file.
